Wreaking Havoc
by Idon'twriteIleak
Summary: Being an X-men is dangerous and sometimes that had to be learned the hard way. Companion One Shot to One More. Can be read as stand alone one shot. Kind of a Dark fic, some tragic elements. Havoc/OC


**Disclaimer: Don't own marvel or universe therein. I make no profit. please don't sue.**

"Alex I won't do this, I know what it will do to her." Hank McCoy folded his arms across his chest in defiance, purposely swelling to his full stature. Ever since Hank had heard them arguing in Laynie's room a month ago he'd known they were dating. Alex wasn't intimidated by his theatrics. He scowled at Hank, his blue eyes hard and unforgiving.

"If you won't I will." He waited for the slightly older man to falter and for a moment it looked like they might break out into a brawl. Finally Hank broke.

"Fine, I'll do it, but I'm not taking the fall." He turned to the simulator and Alex nodded, satisfied.

* * *

"I've got the one on the left!" Alex yelled as they took on a small group of FoH. The mission was to get in save the mutant being bludgeoned to death and get out, but as always things got sticky. I was in heated hand to hand combat with a soldier, my mutant strength punches crunching bones.

"Get down!" I didn't hesitate knowing that mean he was going to release an energy blast and I better get out of the way _now._ I hit the deck, jumping up after a blast sent the remaining men to the ground. They were almost in the facility now. I ran for the door, seeing an opening and springing for it. I broke the lock open with one hand and shoved my way in. I could see the beaten girl on the ground, but a commotion behind me tore my attention away. I turned from the doorway. Alex had been beat to the ground. An FoH member stood above him, machine gun in hand and let his finger down on the trigger. The sound of bullets hitting flesh pierced the air over and over.

"Alex! No!" I left the door swinging open and ran for him. I grabbed the man from behind, snapping his neck in a quick motion and slumped to the ground over Alex. His chest was riddled with holes, pouring blood and his blue eyes stared lifelessly back at me.

"Alex? Alex!" Gunshots sounded behind me and I turned to face the men closing in around me, ignoring the sound of whizzing bullets I lunged for the men. This mission, the job, the X-men, all of it didn't matter anymore. Alex was dead and who ever did this was gonna pay. I could feel something snap inside me like a string being pulled taunt and then cut. I ignored the bullets heading straight for my body and slammed my forehead into one of the shorter men, crushing his skull. When he slumped to the ground I brought my boot down onto his stomach hard, so that bones protruded from his abdomen. I tore my way through the group, slamming them into the ground so that something more than blood oozed from their brain cavities. I snapped a leg with a sickening crunch till every last one of them was dead. Off in the distance I heard a gunshot and I knew the target was dead. I didn't care I turned back to Alex, my body covered in blood and pieces of things I couldn't identify. This images stuck in my head, but when I looked at him it didn't matter. I touched his face, trying to coax a response out of him. My cheeks were wet, so at some point I must have started crying.

He wasn't dead he wasn't. We just had to get some medical help. He would be fine.

"Hank! Jean! Help! Anyone!" I looked down at my hands on his chest. Blood oozed through my fingers, so much blood.

I heard a sputter and a cough behind me and I lunged for the barely breathing man I had beaten close to death. Blood dripped from his mouth where he'd coughed it up and I picked him up by his bicep.

"Help him! Please!" I begged. He coughed and sprayed blood across my face. I threw him down and went back to Alex. I felt for his pulse, my brain trying to tell me that he had been shot so many times. I willed it to beat, to pump under the weight of my two fingers but nothing happened.

"Alex! Please!" I screamed at his lifeless body. "Alex!" Sobs wracked my chest and my head fell as I knelt beside him. "Alex! Alex! Come back to me! Alex!" My palms pressed into the cement as I leaned over him, begging his chest to rise, pleading with him to breath.

"Alex breath! Alex please!"

"Alex I need you! Alex!"

"Alex if you don't come back to me I swear I'll leave you! I swear I will!"

"Alex! Alex, Alex!" My voice was hoarse now, a sob coupled with a voice that could no longer yell. I had curled into a ball, eyes shut tightly like maybe if I wished hard enough when I opened my eyes he would breath. And in that dark cavern of myself it seemed possible.

"AlexAlexAlex." I repeated his name like a mantra until couldn't anymore, The words stuck like sandpaper in my throat. Even then my lips still formed his name.

* * *

_Laynie I need you to open your eyes. _I ignored the voice in my head and squeezed them tighter, cradling myself to nurse the pain that radiated from my chest.

_Laynie I need you to look around._ I shook violently, trying to block out the voice. _Laynie. This is Charles. Everything is going to be okay. _I didn't want to listen, didn't want to open my eyes and find myself curled up next to a dead man, but I listened. I uncurled enough to peek outside. I was staring at the familiar ceiling of the Danger Room. My breathing quickened as I tried to grasp hold of my surroundings.

_Laynie be calm. You underwent a simulation and you lost control. We turned off the simulation but we couldn't send anyone in the room for their safety. We couldn't stop you. _My lungs refused to cooperate and I found myself gasping for air, but still feeling as if none of it was reaching my blood.

_Laynie, you need to relax. I'm going to send Scott in to get you now. _A hand touched my shoulder and I started. Scott pulled me into his arms. I looked around the room, the thick, cement floors had been cracked, in some places forming little craters and jagged pieces of cement pointed upward like angry spikes. Hank stood over me, a look of utter shame across his face. And I felt a faint prick in my arm as Scott carried me, but after that things got very dark.

* * *

I woke up to fluorescent lights, and I had to blink a few times before my eyes could handle them. I tried to swallow but it caught painfully in my throat and I started to choke. A hand brought a glass of water to my mouth and I greedily drank. The liquid burned like alcohol as it went down, but afterwards felt better.

"Alex." It came out as a weak rasp and I looked around for him. My eyes found Charles and I registered where I was. The medical bay. Oh God, it had been real. Alex was dead. Tears burned at my eyes. They should have left me there to die too.

"Laynie. You're in the medical bay. We had to sedate you after the simulation. You were posing to much of a threat when we tried to bring you out of it. You were running through a simulation and you lost control. You didn't seem to realize it wasn't real anymore. You lost control of your powers at some point. Even after we turned off the simulation you were still highly volatile and no one was able to go in and console you." I nodded weakly, the images coming back. Blood. So much blood. People's blood. Alex's blood. The things I had done. The things I was capable of. I shuddered. I remembered the Danger Room as they had taken me out. Floors cracked where people's heads had been.

Jean appeared next to me as she checked the IV's in my arm they had put in place most likely to keep me hydrated. They probably had another sedative on standby and I couldn't blame them. She handed me another cup of water, but my hand was too shaky and I couldn't grip it right with my heart monitor on my finger.

It was then that I saw my hands. They were bandaged completely from where they had pummeled into the reinforced cement, over and over again. Jean brought the cup to my lips but a wave of nausea made me uneager to drink. She gave me something to drink for my throat and I drank the water hurriedly to get the nasty taste in my mouth.

"Where's Alex?" I whispered, because it was all I could manage. I tried to sit up but Charles lay a hand on my shoulder to stop me.

"Alex is fine, but you need to rest. You still are showing signs of shock." I listened, laying my head back down on my pillow.

Hours went by and no one came to see me. Charles, Scott, and Jean were in and out, whispering in the corner. At first I felt anxiety that no one was coming, but it soon blossomed into anger.

"Why won't anyone let Alex in to see me?" I asked Jean when she checked on my hands. She pursed her lips to keep from answering me and kept working on my hands. I could tell my scowl scared her because she stood closer to the IV with the sedative in it, just in case. "I believe he's with Professor Xavier."

I knew I scared her when a few minutes later the rest of the X-men were allowed to come it. They were trying to appease me. They tiptoed around me, like I was a ticking time bomb, none of them knowing what to say.

"I didn't even know you and Alex were dating." Sean finally said. It didn't help the awkward silence.

Their visit didn't seem to help any. As if sensing her growing distress. Alex appeared within the next hour.

The moment he came into view I felt my heart skip a beat and my heart monitor went crazy trying to track my pounding heart. He held my face in his hands like he was afraid it might break. I had cracked men's skulls and he held me like I was a faberge egg. Silent tears slipped down my cheeks and I reached up timidly to touch his face.

Those blue eyes, the same ones that had stared up at the sky lifeless now searched my own frantically.

"Alex I thought you were dead." It still hurt to talk, but I had managed a gritty whisper. I shadow passed over his face but he kept holding me, wiping away my tears. I felt a weight lifted off my chest having him here, in the room, alive and breathing so I could touch him. I felt like I could breath again.

"I know, I know baby, but I'm here." He brushed the hair from my forehead. I noticed Jean standing watch in the corner and for a minute I wasn't sure who she didn't trust, Alex or me.

"Never do that again." I whispered, his forehead leaning against mine so that we could look into each other's eyes, touching as much as the stupid hospital bed would allow us. He chuckled, the shadow dissipation for a moment.

"What die?" I held onto the back of his neck, forcing us to share the same breath. He chuckled and it made me smile, the sound making me believe everything would be alright. But my grip tightened around his neck.

"Yes. Don't die. Ever." I added the last part for effect. He drew back to address me more intently.

"I'll try." The shadow came back and I saw Jean step forward as if in warning. Alex's eyes flickered to her for a mere second before continuing. He scowled deep in thought, the look he got when he was trying to figure out how to say what he wanted.

"But I'm not invincible Laynie."

His words stung because with them I started to realize. Alex was our trainer. He was in charge of the simulations.

"You did it on purpose." It wasn't a question. He looked like I'd slapped him. That was my answer. Jean stepped forward to intervine.

"I didn't-I didn't realize. It was supposed to teach mission objective. You weren't supposed to-it wasn't supposed to-"

"I wasn't supposed to what? Care about you? Or lose it? Was I supposed to care about some stranger more than you?" It came out as a muffled yell that burned with every word. I pulled away from me as much as the little bed would allow.

"I think you should go Alex." Jean warned. Her voice stating it wasn't a suggestion.

"You promised." I felt betrayed. "You promised you wouldn't do something like this." My words hit their mark, but he still reached out for me.

"I made a mistake. I went too far. I know that." His hands gripped the rail of the bed until his knuckles turned white. "I had to watch you. I had to watch you, helpless. Listen to you scream my name until I cried, like a pathetic grown man." His eyes clamped shut as if trying to rid himself of the images, the sounds, but it didn't keep the tears from escaping. "I had to watch."

"I think you should go now." I whispered as I turned to Jean for help. She made him leave.

* * *

I sat in my room for the third day in a row. I hadn't let anyone in or out except for food. Which Jean or Scott delivered with a ten second psych eval from the time she opened the door, took the tray, and shut it again. The sheets tangled around my legs making me feel claustrophobic, so I tore them off.

It brought back a memory. Me after training, all sweaty, and dirt smudged. Alex had snuck in and he came up behind me, ravaging my neck with sloppy kisses. He'd reached around to squeeze my boob like an overeager schoolboy. I had squealed and tried to get away from his grasp but he pulled me closer, over playing the clumsy virgin act until he sent us tumbling onto the bed. I'd shushed him, trying to remind him of the neighbors, but he'd only tutted and went back to pretending to me a fumbling new bee. It had been fun sex, even when he was on the peak of climax thrusting into me expertly he'd played the part saying, 'I feel funny' right before he came. I didn't know sex could be fun like that until him. I wondered if it ever would be. I still only wanted him. I missed him so much my bones ached, but I didn't know if we could ever be the same. I wondered if we'd ever come back from this. If I would ever get to have hot, dirty, sex in the locker room, trying to get off as quick as possible before someone walked in on them. Or the lazy morning kind. Or the kind where he whispered dirty things in her ear that never sounded as good when you said them outside of bed.

I definitely couldn't see the fun kind where we would actually laughed during sex, not anymore.

Someone knocked on the door. My heart pounded like a racehorse and I dared believe it would be him

"Come in!" My voice cracked as I said it, coming out husky like a smoker, but it was still loads better than it had been. Three days of rest had helped. I realized I was only in a bra and underwear, unused to anyone but Alex coming in my room. I prayed it was him because it wasn't time for a meal, and I really didn't want anyone else to see me in my underwear.

I felt my pumping heart catch in my throat as he walked in, hands in his leather coat pocket. He looked almost uncomfortable, even though it was the place he kept an extra pair of boxers and a toothbrush. When he saw me his eyes darkened and he swallowed. I felt like I should have felt uncomfortable under his gaze, but I didn't. It felt almost normal to have him look at her like that. Not like a piece of meat, but like something he wanted to make love too, not just mindlessly fuck. She remembered how many nights had started this way.

"Hey." His voice was husky and he cleared his throat, looking down at his feet. I didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say, where we went from here.

"Charles suspended me from training until we figure out the, uh, conflict of interest." He was trying to make small talk, instigate some sort of conversation.

""Do you remember the time you pretended to have a massive boob fetish. And you spent half the time in bed making out with my breasts so that you were practically drooling all over them? And they were so sore the next day I couldn't wear a sports bra to training so my boobs were everywhere the whole time. And then after seeing them flop around in front of you all day you really _were _the guy with the massive boob fetish when we had sex that night." I was tired of thinking about being angry at him, I'd spent three days doing it. I hadn't meant it as a come on, I just wanted to remember us how we were. Not just the sex, but the days at the pool, and the movie marathons, and the debates about stupid things like which part of an oreo was best. Of course, that one _had _ended in sex when he said it was the cream because he could stick it up her vagina.

"And you wore a sports bra the day after that just so I wouldn't do it again." He was still tense, but the feeling in the air was changing. "I don't think I ever enjoyed jumping jacks so much." He chuckled and then his eyes darted to me, as if he was surprised at the sound and afraid I might be upset, but I was smiling too.

The tension had eased and I felt like I could say what was really on my mind now, like the propane had diffused out of the air and now I could light a cigarette.

"You were dead Alex. Your blood as all over my hands and you were dead."

"I didn't know. I know that sounds stupid and like not enough, but I didn't know."

We used to have this secret language like we could communicate with only our eyes. I could look at him and he'd know what I needed or what I meant. He knew exactly what kind of touch I needed, or that I needed to laugh, or i needed a shoulder to cry on. Maybe because our relationship wasn't out in the open so we'd been forced to adapt. I looked at him, eyes locking across the great expanse between us, and silently begged for him to hold me. I felt like crying when he slipped off his jacket and came lay next to me. We didn't touch, it was like some invisible barrier drew a line between us.

A single hand reached timidly across the sheets until his fingertips found my skin, just resting on my forearm like that little bit of contact was enough.

"I'm still going to do everything I can to save you if that happens again." I would do it. I would go bat shit crazy to save him. He nodded, his eyes fixed on our point of contact like it was life sustaining.

"Okay. But you have to promise me you'll keep going. You have to be strong."

"Let's both agree to not die."

We sat in silence, the joke falling flat, both of them knowing it was something we would never be able to offer the other.

"We're going to be okay right?" I met his eyes, desperately hoping that the answer was yes. That he wouldn't have to say anything and his eyes would answer for him and I would just know.

But the truth is he didn't have to answer because I already knew. We'd get through this just like anything else we'd get through this. I loved him and that was enough.

"Ya. He closed the gap between us so that he held me in his arms. "Ya, we're gonna get through this."


End file.
